The Transformation

Abubacker Wrote: 

May Peace and Blessings of Almighty upon you!
My dear sufi companions, I would like to share my experiences which is one of the turning point in my life. 

Phone call:

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It was around 2002, I received call from India from my close relative and spiritual mentor Haji Siddique that a Shaykh will be coming to Singapore on his way to Melbourne and requested me to take care of him for two days.  That's all.

Today that moment is reminding me of the way Almighty showers His blessings upon whoever He wish, the poet rightly said about the style of God when He showers mercy,

"Ask Prophet Moses, he, in fact, had gone to bring a piece of the fire but had returned with the gift of Prophethood "

First meeting at Singapore Changi Airport:

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On receiving  Grand Hazrath Qibla Azad Rasool (r.a.) at the arrival hall made the impression of standing close to the full moon.  He was very simple, cheerful and did not make a single moment to feel like being with a great personality.  He was talking everything except Sufism and curiously gathering information about Singapore's modern appearance.  Soon he looked like a close friend for me though his age was around 82.

But  I don't know much about the importance of being with him until I come across this Rumi's couplet,

"Yek zamaneh ba sohbat i awliya

behtar ast az sad hazaar saal e ta`at i bay-riya"

"A moment in the company of the Saints of Allah

Is better than a thousand years of sincere worship"

 Two days at Mustafa Hotel :

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I left him alone at the hotel and provided him with the things he needed. I was able to join with only occasionally him due to my busy schedule. Second day I took him to Habib Nooh shrine by MRT (he enjoyed the journey) where he did muraqabah for an hour. 
No visitors, no meditation session and he left Singapore with the words that there are potential students in Singapore who are in search for truth.  But he never asked me either to join his order or to do meditation with him.

At that time I didn't understand what does he means. Today we see those potentials within our group.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) had said : 

“Beware of the Firasat (insight) of the Mumin (close friend of Almighty), for verily, he sees with the Noor of Allah. (Light of God)”

My visit to Delhi:

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During my next vacation to India I had a chance to visit Grand Hazrath at his Khanqah along with Haji  Siddique who was encouraging me to follow this order. I agreed as I thought that to be a good person one should associate with good. With rusted heart, corrupted deeds and not knowing how far I would be sincere, my sinful hands slowly got connected with the powerful holy hands of beloved Shaykh and got initiated. He treated me as a special guest at Delhi more than I did in Singapore. He took us to two famous shrines of our order, Hazrath Shah Waliyullah (r.a.) and Khwajah Baqi Billah (r.a.) to do ziarah and meditation, which I treasure throughout my life.  He also advised us to visit Hazrath Nizamuddin Awlia (r.a.) and Khwajah Qutubuddin  Bakhtiar Kaki (r.a.) as well, where we did ziarah and meditation.

"Divine Love cannot be achieved by reading books. It can be achieved only by remaining in the company of the Lovers.” (Iqbal)

Back to Singapore :

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After I returned home, my practices lost consistency and slowly I became the old slave of my 'self'. Though outwardly connected with Sufi Master but inwardly joined hands with evil forces.   

“The whole universe is sum up in the Human Being. Devil is not a monster waiting to trap us, he is a voice inside. Look for your devil in yourself, not in the others. Don’t forget that the one who knows his devil, knows his God.” -Shams Tabrizi

Second Singapore visit by Grand Shaykh :

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Masha Allah at this visit, I invited him to stay at my house and invited some friends to meet him. I spent my full three days with him doing all the practices and spent another 3 days at K.L. I had a good chance to serve him and learnt his teachings. Especially when I was traveling with him by road to K.L. that whole five hours was in discussion about how to establish a centre in Singapore. 

After he left, so too my practices. Gradually in a couple of years I turned away from sincerity. No focus, no interest upon the instruction, alas no proper communication with him at all. Pity on my ignorance, worldly greed and so on.

As Almighty says in Quran,

"Indeed, those who reverted back [to disbelief] after guidance had become clear to them - Satan enticed them and prolonged hope for them." (47:25).

First visit of our beloved Shaykh Hamid Hasan :

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After Grand Shaykh passed away in 2006, our Shaykh visited Singapore and encouraged me to take the responsibility of Singapore centre. Though I said yes, but was so reluctant to do the practices as I was involved in many religious and social service organizations. Our Shaykh returned home with the hope that I will undertake the responsibility but I was not at all.

Wake up call :

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Life was going like jet speed without the practices as my inner self became my master and I was almost close to its trap. At that time I never established a communication with the Shaykh. One day I received a call from Hj. Siddique that Hazrath was inquiring about me every time he visited Tamil Nadu but this time he was so serious that he asked whether I was going to take up the responsibility of our order or not. Even though it was a choice, my inner being responded that how long will you be away from God, a day will come and you have to taste the death and forcefully stand in front of God for the day of reckoning. Thoughts have engulfed as Rumi said, 

"Why should I stay at the bottom of a well, when a strong rope is in my hand?" 

First ever mail to Shaykh :

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Sent: 15 March 2010 15:51

To: Delhi Hazrat Hamid Hasan

Subject: SALAM

Assalamu Alaikum wr wb.... 

Dear Hazrath, Hope you are doing well by the grace of Almighty Allah. Here everyone is fine with your dua and tawajjuh. Every time you visit Chennai, you enquire about me. I am very pleased to know your love and affection towards me, though I don’t deserve it. I thank Allah for being associated with your nisbath but I feel guilty for my negligence towards the practices of our tareeqa. My laziness and forgetfulness keep me away from contacting you as well.  I seek your advice and instructions to move further. 

My previous number has been changed. The new number is +65-94883640. 

Regards 

Abubacker

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To: Abu

Subject: RE: SALAM

Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:37:51 +0530

Walaykumas salam,

It is nice to hear from you. 

It was Hazrat Qibla’s (ra) heartfelt desire to spread the work of our tareeqa in Singapore and he was very hopeful that you would play an important role in fulfilling his desire. On my last visit to Singapore, I felt that there was great potential and people were searching for Truth. Allah swt has rewarded us with something, which can easily quench the thirst of such seekers and bring them on His path.

Somehow, not much could happen after my visit. We have to make a beginning and Insha’Allah there will be support from the unseen. This is how the work of the tareeqa has spread at all the places and I see no reason why we will not be successful in bringing people closer to Allah in Singapore also. I would advise you to first of all establish your wazaif and do it regularly. Also start talking to people who have interest and tell them the first lesson (Durood Sharif). I am going to visit Malaysia in July and if there are some people who would like to move further, I can plan to visit Singapore for a few days to meet them and also the new people.

It will be good to keep in regular touch. May Allah swt bestow graciousness on you and your family. 

Was salam, Hamid. 

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Pulao Besar to Pulao Besar:

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After this I attended my first ever International retreat at Pulao Besar in 2010 along with brother Hamid where I met Shaykh with kind smile and immediately my heart felt the warmth and I decided to give up all the involvement in different organizations and had firm conviction of sincerely doing the practices.

After the retreat Shaykh came to Singapore and we had a very good discussion and meditation session. He asked me to start a group meeting at my home even though nobody was interested to join our order. To start group meeting in my home I faced few challenges initially.

1. I kept inviting friends, relatives and even close business customers but no one responded. 

2.In a 3 room HDB apartment with 4 kids, to start a group meeting looked difficult as children used to make noise and disturbance for silent meditation.

3. On Saturday evening we used to receive guests and some time we had to visit them. 

But with the hope and trust in the words of Shaykh, expecting unseen help, myself and bro hamid sat for meditation for more than a year on Saturdays almost without fail. I had to digest a number of criticisms, as I had to leave all the religious and social programmes on that day.  

As Rumi said , " If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?" 

Dreams and visions of Grand Shaykh showed good signs of progress in our mission, as Shaykh replied one day after receiving my mail.

"I am happy to know that you are regularly doing the practices. Both the dreams are very nice and a clear indication as to how things will Insha’Allah move in Singapore. " 

After that God sent those who were sincerely seeking His closeness and slowly the group started to expand. And when I saw the list of students who were registered for the 2013 retreat at Pulao Besar, tears filled in my eyes as I realized how exactly the words of our Shaykh became true. So I wrote to Shaykh, 

Dear Hazrath, 

Trust you are well. Hope you have returned from Hyderabad Retreat. 

By the grace of Almighty, we have 17 confirmed attendees for the Malacca Retreat from Singapore.  

I recall myself when I was new to the sisila about a couple of years ago and was reluctant to do small work you assigned to me. By just obeying your instructions, the fruits of the efforts are there to see. 

Even though the number is small, Masha Allah everyone is seriously doing the practices with your tawajjuh. 

May Allah forgive me for not properly doing the silsila work in a way it should have been done. 

Was salaam

Regards 

Abubacker. 

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His reply :

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Assalamu Alaikum, 

Alhamdulillah I am well. I returned from Hyderabad yesterday and am leaving for KL tonight insha'Allah. 

I am very happy the way Singapore group has developed. You have worked with lot of devotion for spreading the work of the order. Alhamdulillah the members are very sincere and are working towards their spiritual development with enthusiasm. In our order, quality is more important than quantity. We don't want to have large gatherings of non-serious people. 

Was salaam 

Hamid. 

All praise be to Almighty and my sincere thanks to all of you for showing compassion, support, integrity, punctuality, patience and understanding. I never met such a wonderful group in my life. You are the gem of people who made this retreat successful. When comparing your thirst in search for truth, I am nothing, as you are all running towards the Sufi teacher with real enthusiasm at initial stage itself whereas I was running away from him at my first stage.  I hope today because of the association of the sincere seekers like you, I will also progress on this holy path.  

"Knock, And He'll open the door 

Vanish, And He'll make you shine like the sun 

Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens 

Become nothing, and He'll turn you into everything." (Rumi)

During these 3 years number of inbuilt evil characters have changed in me. My thoughts, visions, discussions everything has taken a different shape. Things which are unnecessary for the world and hereafter slowly disappeared from my life. Anger became compassion, jealousy became generosity, greed became patience, Glory be to God! What a wonderful Sufi path it is. Of course, this is the history of this holy path that has changed thousands of wicked into excellent, arrogant into humble and made the world to wonder forever. 

May Almighty Showers His choicest blessings upon us.

Regards

Abubacker