On Fri, May 31, 2013 at 1:08 AM, Hamid Ahmed <hamidz007@yahoo.com> wrote:
Salam AlaykumMy lovely fellow companions on this blessed path,Now, I would like to share with you all the biggest change that has occurred in my life ever since I met our Beloved Shaykh, and began the practices Alhamdulillah.Firstly, here's what I believed in as a sinner... there would be two ends - one, I would live in my folly world as I was, to old-age and die repenting at the last minute (which is not excusable) or two, Allah SWT would have mercy on me and change me within through our blessed Shaykh's tawajjuh (transmission)... and I would get another chance NOW to make amends and live a conscious life to my end (though it could be near). I got this second chance at the Malacca retreat after two years of bigger struggles.As an independent minded adult I had strong conviction in the argument "don't take advise from someone who hasn't lived your kind of life". This was but my ego at its best. It took me 40years to realize I was/am still ruled by it (in the most subtle ways). The small difference now is I sometimes become its master :)Alhamdulillah through the practices and constant love and tawajjuh of my Beloved Shaykh, through my own experiences I was made aware of the 4 main objectives of Sufism (Tasawwuf):- Purification of the Heart (qalb)- Cleansing of the self or ego (nafs)- Closeness to Allah SWT- Developing moral qualities of characterAwareness alone of the above objectives is not enough. One hopes and prays to realize their full meaning, and then reach the final destination InshaAllah in Allah SWT. For all journeys are unto Him, transcendent is He. So understand.Realizing the attached document contained my thoughts & words laced with ego (or self), I wrote to our Beloved Shaykh thus:Salam Alaykum My Beloved Peer Saheb Hazrat,Aadab-o-Qadam BosiInshaAllah your blessed person is well.May Allah SWT give me knowledge, wisdom, and the sight to know how to truly address your blessed person.Peer Saheb, even when a stranger does something natural like passing a cup or making place to sit, etc. we say thank you. When I was young sometimes my parents have asked me to say 'thank you' to Allah SWT and then to them, after receiving a sweet - to instill the sense of gratitude and thankfulness in me.And when Allah SWT through your blessed person brought alive long-dead conscience in me, helped revive my dead heart through your love, tawajjuh and practices... I am not even thanking your blessed person?. In previous mail I mentioned that due to my egotistical explanations, I would like to refrain from sharing my experiences with other travelers on this chosen path.Is this not a bigger egotistical mistake, is this not a bigger sin to knowingly not pay sincere gratitude to your blessed person (even if I may not know how?). I apologize for my error. The likes of me can never know how to truly show respect and gratitude towards your blessed person. May Allah SWT keep me in your qidmat and guidance to my end, aameen.May Allah SWT sacrifice my life, happiness and health on your blessed footsteps, aameen.I shall take your leave nowSeeking your prayersWith gratitudeMa'assalamHopefully I have taken lesser of two egos in conveying my experiences to your hearts through this communication. There are times when my conscience bears heavily on me. Pray God Almighty lightens the burdens on our souls - aameen!My heartiest thanks to Citi & her 'Satu Malaysia' team for putting together this memorable (second) retreat.Take care of yourselves & pls convey my salam to your families.Quda hafiz,
Ahmedp.s.: For the English equivalent of nafs, the Shaykh replied 'The English word for nafs is self. Since most people know ego better, we sometimes use it as the equivalent in informal communication."
Turning Toward The Heart
Experience on The Naqshbandi Mujaddidi sufi tariqat ...................................................................................................................................................
Where it all began? A meaningless life...
Alhamdulillah (praise be to God) I can only define my arduous journey and small transformation of heart as ‘Turning toward the heart’. Intended to write a note in case I had to present it at the end of the retreat (like the previous one).
Only with my beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh (transmission) and blessings of the practices am I able to begin on this true path of transformation. With limited knowledge, I understand why the grand Shaykh Hazrat Azad Rasool Saheb (r.a.) named his monumental book ‘Turning Toward The Heart’ because it is the heart which is the locus of truth and all manifestations.
Truth be told, as I read in the book – compared to reviving a dead heart, bringing alive a dead human being is comparatively easier. Alhamdulillah now I understand the meaning of those beautiful words of wisdom.
In sombre moments of my youth, I believed those heartfelt words of agony & despair penned by the last mughal emperor of India – Bahadur Shah Zafar, was in effect addressed to me and / or summarized my plight.
“Na kisi ki aankh ka noor hoon,
Na kisi ke dil ka qaraar hoon
Jo kisi ke kaam na aa sake,
mein vo ek musht-e-ghubaar hoon”
Experience on The Naqshbandi Mujaddidi sufi tariqat ...................................................................................................................................................
Where it all began? A meaningless life...
Alhamdulillah (praise be to God) I can only define my arduous journey and small transformation of heart as ‘Turning toward the heart’. Intended to write a note in case I had to present it at the end of the retreat (like the previous one).
Only with my beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh (transmission) and blessings of the practices am I able to begin on this true path of transformation. With limited knowledge, I understand why the grand Shaykh Hazrat Azad Rasool Saheb (r.a.) named his monumental book ‘Turning Toward The Heart’ because it is the heart which is the locus of truth and all manifestations.
Truth be told, as I read in the book – compared to reviving a dead heart, bringing alive a dead human being is comparatively easier. Alhamdulillah now I understand the meaning of those beautiful words of wisdom.
In sombre moments of my youth, I believed those heartfelt words of agony & despair penned by the last mughal emperor of India – Bahadur Shah Zafar, was in effect addressed to me and / or summarized my plight.
“Na kisi ki aankh ka noor hoon,
Na kisi ke dil ka qaraar hoon
Jo kisi ke kaam na aa sake,
mein vo ek musht-e-ghubaar hoon”
Translation in English:
Not the light of anyone's eyes, nor the solace for anyone's heart of no use to anyone,
I am that one fistful of dust*
It was not enough to realize my weakness and obedient servitude to my nafs (ego) since young – the real battle is how to overcome it? There was a constant fight within – though after every act of disobedience to Allah SWT there was (momentary) remorse, I would succumb to lower desires and appetites again. Truly I wronged my own soul, I was in manifest error.
Years passed this way, youth withered away and then God Almighty had mercy upon me out of His boundless compassion – there appeared my beloved Shaykh Hamid Hasan Saheb in the form of His mercy, to help, to guide and take me out of my misery.
I prayed to Allah SWT that if nothing good were to come out of me, let my life be at least an ibrah (moral lesson) to someone. And hopefully the prayer is answered InshaAllah (God willing).
Realization through my Beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh and blessings of the practices (2011-13)
Alhamdulillah (praise be to God) with my beloved Shaykh’s selfless love, patience, tawajjuh (transmission) and the blessings of the practices, now there was a subtle subconscious realization that ‘ones’ life should be more than a collection of complaints, aches & pains, appetites and desires’.
Realization of this truth happened only after I started the practices regularly. Perhaps, the most profound blessing of the practices & our beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh is to regain the desire to go back to ones’ fitrah (original state or primordial state), inherent in all human beings irrespective of race or religion.
I also accepted the fact that ‘if there’s anything good in my life, it is attributed to Him; transcendent is He the Almighty God. All wrongs and shortcomings are only attributable to me”.
Only for the sake of His love for my Shaykh, Allah SWT gave me numerous chances to get up every time I fell deeper into the abyss. Just like a (patient & loving) parent with an unruly child, my beloved Shaykh would show kindness towards me.
With the help of blessings gained through the practices, the inner courage and struggle against my nafs was slowly gaining strength. I have started on the path to find myself... however, the journey is long and the struggle must go on.
Not the light of anyone's eyes, nor the solace for anyone's heart of no use to anyone,
I am that one fistful of dust*
It was not enough to realize my weakness and obedient servitude to my nafs (ego) since young – the real battle is how to overcome it? There was a constant fight within – though after every act of disobedience to Allah SWT there was (momentary) remorse, I would succumb to lower desires and appetites again. Truly I wronged my own soul, I was in manifest error.
Years passed this way, youth withered away and then God Almighty had mercy upon me out of His boundless compassion – there appeared my beloved Shaykh Hamid Hasan Saheb in the form of His mercy, to help, to guide and take me out of my misery.
I prayed to Allah SWT that if nothing good were to come out of me, let my life be at least an ibrah (moral lesson) to someone. And hopefully the prayer is answered InshaAllah (God willing).
Realization through my Beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh and blessings of the practices (2011-13)
Alhamdulillah (praise be to God) with my beloved Shaykh’s selfless love, patience, tawajjuh (transmission) and the blessings of the practices, now there was a subtle subconscious realization that ‘ones’ life should be more than a collection of complaints, aches & pains, appetites and desires’.
Realization of this truth happened only after I started the practices regularly. Perhaps, the most profound blessing of the practices & our beloved Shaykh’s tawajjuh is to regain the desire to go back to ones’ fitrah (original state or primordial state), inherent in all human beings irrespective of race or religion.
I also accepted the fact that ‘if there’s anything good in my life, it is attributed to Him; transcendent is He the Almighty God. All wrongs and shortcomings are only attributable to me”.
Only for the sake of His love for my Shaykh, Allah SWT gave me numerous chances to get up every time I fell deeper into the abyss. Just like a (patient & loving) parent with an unruly child, my beloved Shaykh would show kindness towards me.
With the help of blessings gained through the practices, the inner courage and struggle against my nafs was slowly gaining strength. I have started on the path to find myself... however, the journey is long and the struggle must go on.
The Malacca retreat (May 2013)
The retreat was a culmination of the effect of the practices since 2011. It is the high point of
my lowly life. ShukrAllah (thanks be to God) our beloved Shaykh lit a spark in my heart... one
hopes the flame burns bright so long as I reach the destination – aameen.
Having led a life as I pleased and in folly, how could the changes ever come of my own choosing and contriving? Yet God Almighty out of His immense mercy and compassion has given me a blessing in the form of our Beloved Shaykh. So understand.
A few prayers
May Allah SWT for the sake of His love for my Beloved Shaykh, take my last breath on his blessed footsteps, aameen.
There’s good and bad in all things. ‘Ya Allah SWT for the sake of your love for my Beloved Shaykh, give me the wisdom to know the good in all things and provide me the power to receive good from all things divine’ aameen.
May Allah SWT out of His bounty and love for my Beloved Shaykh, bless this low life with ‘al ilm al-yaqini’ (sure and certain knowledge), and ‘ilm al-daruri’ (necessary knowledge), aameen.
Lastly, to quote the Urdu poet Allama Mohammad Iqbal
‘meri zaban-o-qalm se kisi ka dil na dukhe,
kisi ko shikwa na ho zere aasman mujh se’
‘let not my word or pen hurt anyone,
may no being under the sky hold a grudge towards me**’ aameen.
Wassalam
Ahmed Singapore
*translated by Russian student of Urdu poetry - Philip Nikolayev **translated by self with due apologies to Allama Iqbal
Having led a life as I pleased and in folly, how could the changes ever come of my own choosing and contriving? Yet God Almighty out of His immense mercy and compassion has given me a blessing in the form of our Beloved Shaykh. So understand.
A few prayers
May Allah SWT for the sake of His love for my Beloved Shaykh, take my last breath on his blessed footsteps, aameen.
There’s good and bad in all things. ‘Ya Allah SWT for the sake of your love for my Beloved Shaykh, give me the wisdom to know the good in all things and provide me the power to receive good from all things divine’ aameen.
May Allah SWT out of His bounty and love for my Beloved Shaykh, bless this low life with ‘al ilm al-yaqini’ (sure and certain knowledge), and ‘ilm al-daruri’ (necessary knowledge), aameen.
Lastly, to quote the Urdu poet Allama Mohammad Iqbal
‘meri zaban-o-qalm se kisi ka dil na dukhe,
kisi ko shikwa na ho zere aasman mujh se’
‘let not my word or pen hurt anyone,
may no being under the sky hold a grudge towards me**’ aameen.
Wassalam
Ahmed Singapore
*translated by Russian student of Urdu poetry - Philip Nikolayev **translated by self with due apologies to Allama Iqbal
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From Abu Noohu
ReplyDeleteSalam to Bro Hamid and to my rest of my Bros & Sis.
Trust with these few lines will find you in the best of Spirit & Health.
Just one month ago we were on the ferry to PB. We came back with our mind and soul enriched to be closer to our creator. Life is full of trials and turbulence but on this guided path we seek to achieve the bliss of living to attain love and to be loved. The experiences shared were amazing and that too was a pillar of support for me to do my practice regularly and Alhamdullilah I am doing my practices everyday no matter what, no excuses this time.
Bro Hamid experience made me to read few times over and over again. He, together with Bro Abu B and Bro Kamal aka Sufi Master are senior students whose experiences are of a different level for we strive to be one day insha Allah.
Bro Hamid is a man who put others before self a rare gem and not many willing sacrifice his/ her own comfort
Bro Abu B words of wisdom and his humble nature
Bro Kamal, talk less, eat less, sleep less but practice more
I always look forward to the Saturday meetings, these people make a difference. In that corner of Crawford Lane in the tiny room, oblivious to the livelihood outside, making our inner self energized, stronger to face the week ahead and tuning ourselves for the betterment of our life.
So stay tuned bros and sis as we will receive the experiences from Bros Abu B and Kamal in the coming days. As i understand it will be in Vol 1 and 2, so mind blowing stuff. :)
wassalam
Abu